Mary and Jake Sheridan both live in Surrey now, but in January 1998, they were two strangers riding the SkyTrain.

Mary was attending school in Langley, so had little reason to be in downtown Vancouver riding the SkyTrain. That fateful day was the exception, she was riding from Waterfront Station back to Langley.

While Jake had recently moved to downtown Vancouver from Richmond, he was riding the SkyTrain in the same direction to Scott Road Station to catch the bus to visit an aunt who lived in Delta.

This was unusual for both of them, and had it been any other day, they might have missed their chance to meet.

Read our interview with them below, covering everything from their fateful meeting to their values in their long-lasting marriage of 25 years.

A meeting that was meant to be

Jake got on at Main Street–Science World, and Mary says she noticed him right away.

“I remember everything he was wearing,” she says. “He had on a really cool leather bomber jacket and red Doc Martens.”

Mary was doing what many transit riders do, reading her book — “a history book that nobody else but me had read, I thought,” she says.

“I think it was a couple of stops later, this elderly lady got on the SkyTrain, and it was packed. He just got up right away and asked if she wanted to sit down, and that’s when I smiled.”

Jake wound up closer to Mary and her book, complimenting her on her unique choice of reading material.

Mary recalls, “I was like, that is the worst pickup line in the world.”

However, Mary gave him a chance to continue, and Jake quickly showed how intelligent and genuine he was.

They chatted all the way to Scott Road Station until it was time for Jake to get off at his stop. They both mentioned it was nice chatting with each other, and Mary was ready to let him go.

With Jake on the platform and Mary on the train, Jake managed to slip a piece of paper through the SkyTrain doors just as they were about to close with his phone number on it. He let her know it was for “if she wanted to continue this conversation.”

Mary recalls, “It was so freaking Hollywood. I picked it up, and the elderly lady looked at him and said, ‘Look, look, he’s a good one!'”

“It was really cool to meet on the SkyTrain like that…it was really meant to be.”

A swift proposal

Just a week after their fateful meeting, Jake proposed at Commercial–Broadway Station!

He admits it was “kind of insane” to propose after so soon after meeting, but Jake said he was confident.

Mary recalls, “It was crazy, like, are you serious? I just met you!” She told him if he still felt that way about her in a year, she would accept.

Jake asked her again in a year, and three months later, they married.

It can be hard to trust your feelings and heart sometimes, so you might choose to leave it at it was just a nice chat.

Mary and Jake took the leap of faith and have now been happily married for 25 years and counting.

Read the rest of the interview

What made this meeting stand out to you?

Mary: “There was something about him, and what I liked is that he was so smart. Very respectful and very smart. We had this incredible conversation. I still remember what we talked about. It was just amazing having this incredible connection with somebody I just met. And I did call him two days later.”

What was your first date like?

Mary: “We met up at Library Square, he was carrying a messenger bag, he opened it up and gave me a single rose.”

How has public transit played a role in your relationship over the years?

Jake: “She was living in Langley, and I was living in downtown Vancouver, and the commute to get there was 2 hours each way. I didn’t have a car, so I would transit there, and we’d see each other for maybe 20 minutes, and then I’d come all the way back.”

Mary still has the fare tickets from when they met, when he proposed, and even the piece of paper with Jake’s phone number on it, as faded as it is.

The couple still credits the SkyTrain with their fateful meeting, even including the fare stubs in gifts years later. Namely, a poem Jake wrote for Mary to celebrate their 10th anniversary even features a photocopy of that fateful ticket.

Mary: “Transit has been a huge part of our love story.”

Do you still use public transit?

Mary: “I take transit every day, I don’t drive, I go to work every day in Surrey, I do my commute in Surrey, and I also do a lot downtown. The SkyTrain is the best. It’s close to my heart, so I don’t mind taking the train.”

Do you have any fun stories about how transit has played a role in celebrating anniversaries and milestones?

Mary: “We first met on January 31st, 1998, taking the SkyTrain is always a nice way to remember how we met.”

Were there any memorable moments or challenges during your relationship?

Jake: “We’ve gone through a lot together. We had a fire — part of the biggest insurance claims in BC where 86 families were displaced, and we recovered from that together.”

Mary: “We’re a really good team. I’m crazy about the guy, but we’re a really, really good team.”

“I like the fact that I am very emotional, and he is very logical, so the two of us, we make excellent decisions together.”

Do you think a story like yours is possible today? Many transit users are used to having their headphones in or their heads down in their phones.

Jake: “I think it’s a challenge for people to connect with each other in general, but the SkyTrain is such a great way to meet people. I mean, I don’t think people go on the SkyTrain to meet people (laughs).”

Mary: “But it is possible!”

What has kept your relationship strong over the years, or advice you have for others for a strong marriage?

Mary: “Be friends. He and I got to know each other before we got married. Obviously, he was very serious when he met me, but I wanted to see what he was like in many aspects. We volunteered together, we worked together, we learned together. Stuff like that to see what he was like as a worker, and with budgeting, and things like that. We were just really close, really good friends for a year, and got to know each other. About our families, our histories, health histories. It was a bit of an old-fashioned way of doing it.”

They even recounted a sweet story where Jake had asked Mary’s dad for his blessing in their marriage. “And my dad was like, ‘What?! Ask her yourself.’”

Mary explained that in her Latin American culture, respect for the family is everything, likely that Jake did his research!

Jake: “Never go to bed angry. We’re trying to teach our son about that as well. If there’s something that needs to be done during the day, don’t hold onto it. Always go to bed feeling like you had put in the effort to mend any bridges. That’s a big one.”

“When you’ve (Mary) struggled with things, I’ve been there for you. When I’ve struggled with things, you’ve been my… we kind of refer to each other as, she’s my rock, and I’m her strong oak.”

What do you think is the key to a lasting relationship?

Mary: “Be vulnerable, if you need help, reach out, a lot of people try to be everything. Don’t expect your partner to be everything to you, that’s not fair. It’s good to have other relationships in life.”

Jake: “Being more emotionally available, and vulnerable. I do my own personal work as well, around things I have to deal with, and if you’re willing to do that, you bring more of yourself to the relationship. A relationship is going to force you to grow. It’s either you grow, or you go. Those are your two options. And sometimes, you just have to go. That doesn’t mean they don’t want to grow, but they might have to take some time for themselves, to go away and get back together and come back ready to commit even further. It’s not like relationships are static. They are always changing.”

Mary: “Keep growing together, not apart.”

Jake: “If you have personal work to do, I actually planned everything out, I wrote a long article about it on her blog, about how I prepared myself for children, and having a family. Have a list of things that you have to do to prepare. I had a list of things I had to do to be prepared. One was getting a new job, one was getting a home, working on reducing debt. There’s a whole list of things I put together like that. Then I also added to that. So have your list, at least for me, it really helped me keep track. You don’t want to be in a situation where you’re not financially or emotionally ready for the next step or thing. It took about 15 years to get there, so a plan, carried out over ten years or so, gets you to a place where you want to be, and your partner has to be on board with that. Make sure you talk about it and plan as well.”

Mary: “Be on the same page for the big stuff. Don’t be afraid to have those tough conversations.”

Jake: “You kind of attract someone into your life, I think, that teaches you things that you don’t know. That your family may have even forgotten about. I love the fact that she sings, and my son sings, and it’s something I didn’t grow up with, but I appreciate. If you were just the same person, in the same way, you would never get that.”

Mary: “One thing he has to get used to, still after all this time, in my culture, yelling at someone is a love language.”

Jake: “Sometimes they don’t want to hear it from you, they want to hear it from somebody else, and when you do tell them to do something, you’re just not the right person to ask.”

Mary: “And don’t take that to heart. That’s the playbook.”

To connect with Mary, you can follow her on Instagram or read her blog, Mary in Vancity

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